I was delighted to see that according to this morning's Sun, the Duchess of Cambridge and I have something in common. We both have five changes of outfit to contend with during the Christmas Day - although I suspect for different reasons....
6.00-9.00 I will be teaming my baggy boxers with a pair of stylish black ankle socks in pure nylon. I am likely to complete the ensemble with a shapeless grey towelling dressing gown, the ideal outfit for a morning fag and cup of tea.
9.00-11.30 A change of pace for the grand present opening as I divest myself of my leisure look and switch to more formal attire in a pair of ancient leggings from the house of adidas, complimented by a fetching fleece jogging top. The button-down style will be lightened with a pair of Homer Simpson novelty slippers.
11.30-5.30 The sartorial highlight of the day as I prepare to wow the household in my daring collection of baggy-arsed denim jeans and shapeless tee-shirt - possibly with a humorous connection. In the past, this silhouette has been most successful complimented by an apron bearing the legend 'screw the cooking, let's get pissed' - and my philosophy is, once you've found a fashion style that works for you stick with it. This classic shape will carry me through the main activities of the day; going to the pub, overcooking the sprouts, drunkenly laughing at the queen and generally entering the spirit of the day.
5.30-8.00 As eventide descends, it will be time for another fast change of outfit. Evening games will be undertaken in a collection of sparkling new knitwear from Her Majesty's Marks & Spencer and possibly Matalan - offset with a sprightly paper hat worn at a jaunty angle.
8.00-12.00 The day will climax in a cornucopia of revelry as the esteemed family and friends get stuck into the Bailey's and Stella. This will require a final slick change of attire as I swap the knitwear for 'that shirt you've been saving from the holidays'. This will be the impulse purchase from the summer, a brilliantly colourful affair complemented by images of parrots and palm trees. As night time turn into the early hours, the look will be completed by sodden socks from the quick 'conga' round the garden and festoons of silly string.
Ahh, how like the homelife of our own dear future queen...
Thursday, 22 December 2011
Tuesday, 20 December 2011
Why free design isn't worth the money...
Back in the day, I worked for printers who offered my services for free and then built the cost of my salary into the cost of the print.
Initially, a lot of customers were delighted - they thought they were getting something for nothing. Obviously, they weren't - they were just paying more for their printing than they needed to.
But worse than the sneaky hidden charges, was the quality of the design they were getting.
I just needed to produce something that, according to the owner of the company, 'looked professional'.
I didn't really care about producing a job that would get the client more business. My work was worth nothing, so I just designed something that 'did the job' - it got the client's message across - but it didn't make anyone want to use them.
The clients didn't really know much about design, so my unscrupulous printer boss just got me to reproduce the same basic design job over and over again - giving it a few tweaks and a new logo to 'ring the changes'. It was a fast way of working, so he could keep the cost of my time down - and bill some extra hours to the client - which he would make a big deal out of pretending he was 'absorbing' the cost of!
And because the design was a popular one, he could sell it to every client as 'professional and effective' - because, the last 20 customers had liked it, why shouldn't the next 20.
Sadly, the poor clients paid for their overpriced print and templates design time after time, thinking they were getting a bespoke service and achieving only a fraction of the results they should have. Because they thought they were getting a good deal, they just didn't realise what a bad one it was.
And that's why 12 years ago, I set up Davis Davis Design and Advertising. We don't offer free design because we want the businesses we work with to succeed, not just be fleeced. Instead we offer cost price print to our clients so they get the best possible design for their business and the lowest print cost. In the end the price works out the same - but the difference in results is what keeps our customers coming back.
Printers still offer 'free' design and still provide the same second rate service. But if you want to find out how much you can really save on your next print job, just drop us a line or give us a call on 01304 213008. In 2012, don't you owe it to your business to find out how well you could be doing?
Initially, a lot of customers were delighted - they thought they were getting something for nothing. Obviously, they weren't - they were just paying more for their printing than they needed to.
But worse than the sneaky hidden charges, was the quality of the design they were getting.
I just needed to produce something that, according to the owner of the company, 'looked professional'.
I didn't really care about producing a job that would get the client more business. My work was worth nothing, so I just designed something that 'did the job' - it got the client's message across - but it didn't make anyone want to use them.
The clients didn't really know much about design, so my unscrupulous printer boss just got me to reproduce the same basic design job over and over again - giving it a few tweaks and a new logo to 'ring the changes'. It was a fast way of working, so he could keep the cost of my time down - and bill some extra hours to the client - which he would make a big deal out of pretending he was 'absorbing' the cost of!
And because the design was a popular one, he could sell it to every client as 'professional and effective' - because, the last 20 customers had liked it, why shouldn't the next 20.
Sadly, the poor clients paid for their overpriced print and templates design time after time, thinking they were getting a bespoke service and achieving only a fraction of the results they should have. Because they thought they were getting a good deal, they just didn't realise what a bad one it was.
And that's why 12 years ago, I set up Davis Davis Design and Advertising. We don't offer free design because we want the businesses we work with to succeed, not just be fleeced. Instead we offer cost price print to our clients so they get the best possible design for their business and the lowest print cost. In the end the price works out the same - but the difference in results is what keeps our customers coming back.
Printers still offer 'free' design and still provide the same second rate service. But if you want to find out how much you can really save on your next print job, just drop us a line or give us a call on 01304 213008. In 2012, don't you owe it to your business to find out how well you could be doing?
Thursday, 3 November 2011
Why every client can create their own solutions…
"I'm not creative", is probably the most common phrase you'll hear in the design industry.
A lot of clients say it.
So, they don't get up on a Saturday morning with ideas on how to entertain the kids that day - the kids that they didn't create. They don't cook meals that require care and timing. They don't turn up the radio in the car, put their foot down a little more and imagine they're starring in a movie or ad. They don't doodle while they're on the phone. They don't get dressed - or even choose a new tie. They don't book holidays or look forward to Christmas morning or imagine playing at Wembley. They don't decorate their homes, plant roses by the gate or buy gifts for birthdays. Of course, they do.
No one has yet been born that has no creativity in their soul. And a good designer will work with their client's innate creativity -no matter how latent - to reveal answers they can both love.
A lot of clients say it.
So, they don't get up on a Saturday morning with ideas on how to entertain the kids that day - the kids that they didn't create. They don't cook meals that require care and timing. They don't turn up the radio in the car, put their foot down a little more and imagine they're starring in a movie or ad. They don't doodle while they're on the phone. They don't get dressed - or even choose a new tie. They don't book holidays or look forward to Christmas morning or imagine playing at Wembley. They don't decorate their homes, plant roses by the gate or buy gifts for birthdays. Of course, they do.
No one has yet been born that has no creativity in their soul. And a good designer will work with their client's innate creativity -no matter how latent - to reveal answers they can both love.
Wednesday, 2 November 2011
Jane Moore Page Highlights
Blah blah....family is backbone.....blah blah...hardworking mums....blah blah....the bloke....blah blah.......kids need tough love..... blah blah...common sense....blah blah....housework juggling....blah blah...single parents.....blah blah....lived in a cupboard....blah blah...botox....blah blah....real world....blah blah....benefits scroungers....blah blah....ad nauseum
Wednesday, 15 June 2011
Dosh Stone Kidnap
Headline: £9 Million Joss Stone in Kidnap Shocker
The real shock is how the Deep South Devon dipstick amassed nine million quid. Friends in high places? (pun intended).
The real shock is how the Deep South Devon dipstick amassed nine million quid. Friends in high places? (pun intended).
Friday, 10 June 2011
Does no one else change their mind?
I find today's imperative to blog, post, comment, cast and have an opinion about absolutely everything wearying at least and stressful at worst. It seems that not an event can go by in the news or a view expressed in the media without their being a requirement to add something intelligent and forthright to the debate.
I have a problem with this (as no doubt regular readers of this blog have discovered).
Firstly, I'm aware that I have little original intelligence with which to add anything of value to the debate.
But more pertinently, I tend to change my mind a lot.
Today, I might think Ryan Giggs is an odious little man for cheating on his missus. Tomorrow I might reconsider - you can't really blame him because she does look like she could start a fight in a one man tent.
Today, I might think Rowan William has a point because no one voted for the coalition. Therefore they don't have a mandate to impose loads of draconian legislation. Tomorrow, I might think he's a weirdy god-botherer in a gold lame dress whose never done a proper day's work in his life and doesn't really have any right to pontificate on what the rest of us hard working tax payers should expect from our government.
Today, I might think man bags are a good thing.
Tomorrow, I might not.
And there's the nub. I'm inconsistent. If I blog an opinion today might have changed it completely by tomorrow. I'm transitory, open-minded, non-partisan, lily livered, flexible, uncommitted and vague.
But what concerns me more is the thought that everyone else on the internet is so sure of their opinions that no matter what new evidence comes to light they will never change their stand point. I'd love to have that kind of confidence. But surely the ability to adapt to our conditions is what sets us apart from the animals - and politicians. Or maybe I'm wrong.
So, who'd like to join me in creating a Society for the Undecided? A vehicle for those who not only pull their punches but aren't really sure about the 'whole punchy/throwy thing anyway' to meet and celebrate our indifference. A place where we can have tepid debates - well not even debates really - more sort of friendly discussions - about the major issues of the day and how hesitant we are about them. Good idea?...Yes?...No?...I'll put you down as a maybe, then.
I have a problem with this (as no doubt regular readers of this blog have discovered).
Firstly, I'm aware that I have little original intelligence with which to add anything of value to the debate.
But more pertinently, I tend to change my mind a lot.
Today, I might think Ryan Giggs is an odious little man for cheating on his missus. Tomorrow I might reconsider - you can't really blame him because she does look like she could start a fight in a one man tent.
Today, I might think Rowan William has a point because no one voted for the coalition. Therefore they don't have a mandate to impose loads of draconian legislation. Tomorrow, I might think he's a weirdy god-botherer in a gold lame dress whose never done a proper day's work in his life and doesn't really have any right to pontificate on what the rest of us hard working tax payers should expect from our government.
Today, I might think man bags are a good thing.
Tomorrow, I might not.
And there's the nub. I'm inconsistent. If I blog an opinion today might have changed it completely by tomorrow. I'm transitory, open-minded, non-partisan, lily livered, flexible, uncommitted and vague.
But what concerns me more is the thought that everyone else on the internet is so sure of their opinions that no matter what new evidence comes to light they will never change their stand point. I'd love to have that kind of confidence. But surely the ability to adapt to our conditions is what sets us apart from the animals - and politicians. Or maybe I'm wrong.
So, who'd like to join me in creating a Society for the Undecided? A vehicle for those who not only pull their punches but aren't really sure about the 'whole punchy/throwy thing anyway' to meet and celebrate our indifference. A place where we can have tepid debates - well not even debates really - more sort of friendly discussions - about the major issues of the day and how hesitant we are about them. Good idea?...Yes?...No?...I'll put you down as a maybe, then.
Thursday, 12 May 2011
Pippa Middleton and David Beckham. Breaking a few more super injunctions
Apologies to all my eight followers on the recent lack of blogs - pressure of work and all that you know.
Anyway, following the revelations regarding Jemima Khan and Jeremy Clarkson, I though now would be an apposite time to publish some of my own super injunction busting scoops...
First, there's the ongoing triste between fame obsessed space cadet Peaches Geldoff and wheelie based boffin Professor Stephen Hawking. They've managed to keep it a secret for months put were last week photographed kissing behind the bins at Currys. Then there's hirsute Welsh football drone Robbie Savage and his on/off affair with chinny American actress spinster Jennifer Anniston. They met on the set of her last rom-com disaster where Robbie was auditioning for the part of '2nd pampered Afghan Hound' and, allegedly, haven't been able to keep their hands off each other since.
Next we have the secret relationship between green fingered talk show dross-smith Alan Titchmarsh and scrawny pop has-been Madonna who likes him to pop around at least once a week to 'prune her bigonias'. Then there's a rash of lesser known torrid clinches that have evaded the British press: Erudite twitterer Stephen Fry and OWIE airhead Amy Childes, Brummy misery Adrian Chiles and Bumptious pop starlet Beyonce Knowles, 70's Spurs goal machine Cyril Knowles and Porcine temptress Peppa Pig...I could go on. But I'm bored with making up unlikely couplings now. Still if you've got some you'd like to add, please comment. It's all good for the search engines.
Anyway, following the revelations regarding Jemima Khan and Jeremy Clarkson, I though now would be an apposite time to publish some of my own super injunction busting scoops...
First, there's the ongoing triste between fame obsessed space cadet Peaches Geldoff and wheelie based boffin Professor Stephen Hawking. They've managed to keep it a secret for months put were last week photographed kissing behind the bins at Currys. Then there's hirsute Welsh football drone Robbie Savage and his on/off affair with chinny American actress spinster Jennifer Anniston. They met on the set of her last rom-com disaster where Robbie was auditioning for the part of '2nd pampered Afghan Hound' and, allegedly, haven't been able to keep their hands off each other since.
Next we have the secret relationship between green fingered talk show dross-smith Alan Titchmarsh and scrawny pop has-been Madonna who likes him to pop around at least once a week to 'prune her bigonias'. Then there's a rash of lesser known torrid clinches that have evaded the British press: Erudite twitterer Stephen Fry and OWIE airhead Amy Childes, Brummy misery Adrian Chiles and Bumptious pop starlet Beyonce Knowles, 70's Spurs goal machine Cyril Knowles and Porcine temptress Peppa Pig...I could go on. But I'm bored with making up unlikely couplings now. Still if you've got some you'd like to add, please comment. It's all good for the search engines.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)