Friday, 5 October 2012
Dave Trott - Advertising God.
One of my many heroes is Dave Trott who plies his trade as CST The Gate. He's the nearest person we have to John Webster in today's advertising and his weekly blog in Campaign is free to anyone who needs reminding why we do what we do. This one's a corker...
Wednesday, 20 June 2012
Folkestone Creative Quarter. Generating Impetus...
As a new resident to the Folkestone Creative Quarter, I thought it might be worth writing down some first impressions.
Roger de Haan's money is battling to do good work but needs some help.
A community is more than just renovated buildings. It needs a spirit.
At the moment, it's the spirit that needs to grow in the CQ.
There is an interesting mix of businesses and people in the area.
But there's a feeling of defeat rather than energy.
There's also a lot of debris, broken bottles in the back streets and drug paraphenalia.
The council who are paid to clean up the mess should be holding up their end of the bargain.
Drugs and dealers aren't pretty but they add a degree of edginess that makes the place more interesting.
Obviously, business owners are worried about crime - that the inevitable consequence of drugs isn't it?
It might be. It might not. Let's not create a problem that doesn't exist yet.
The problem that does exist is apathy.
There are some genuinely ambitious businesses trying to make a go of it.
It behoves us all in the region to support our neighbours.
Get a coffee from the Polish cafe. Go for a drink after work in the local bar.
If we don't support each other, how can we expect those from farther afield to?
It feels like the Creative Quarter is on the cusp of something positive.
This could be a real success - but that will only happen with our energy.
If we want to get something out of this project. We need to put something in.
Thursday, 19 April 2012
Why Tesco had a terrible Christmas and why they're just the first to feel the pain.
The multi-buy scam highlighted by the BBC a few months ago is just one of the reasons why shoppers are wary of putting too much loyalty in Tesco. Assuming their customers are too dumb to work out that bottles of fruity water priced at 31p each are cheaper than the 'Special Offer' of 3 for £1, is just one of the ways Tesco has managed to alienate previously loyal customers. When pulled up on these practices (it was highlighted on numerous products throughout the store) that old chestnut the 'system error' was blamed. To which at least one viewer was forced to shout from his armchair 'go on, pull this one, it's got bells on it'.
It's not so much the fact that Tesco (and other stores are equally culpable) are trying to screw a few extra pence out of their clients that irks me. It's the assumption that normal shoppers are somehow too stupid to see through the marketing ploys. When you charge a fair price for a fair product, I'll meet you halfway. Try and pick my pockets and I'm out of here.
Now Which Magazine has highlighted that Tesco has been sending its online grocery shoppers products that are smaller than advertised - The Mail highlights a 1 litre tub of Carte d'Or ice cream that was actually 900 ml when it arrived - to add weight to the argument that the stores no longer have the customers' best interests at heart.
And that is precisely the problem, not just at Tesco but with many high street brands. This arrogant assumption that the customer is some dimwitted cash receptacle to be milked for or tricked out of every penny and then discarded in endemic in much of British retail.
Cutting the numbers of store staff to save money (remember Tesco's promise to 'always open another till if there's someone in front of you until all the tills are open?' That got quietly sidelined), cramming the aisles with two for one offers where the price of one is twice as much as you've ever paid before, promoting special deals that only last a day or two just to get you through the doors - it all stinks of what's wrong with retail in the UK. But more accurately, it highlights what's wrong with the mentality of the new generation of marketers who are blind to the idea of respect for the customer, dazzled by the size of company profits, and purely focussed on their own cut of the bonus pool.
Honestly, it's time to stop now guys. You've been doing it for too long and even the most gullible of customers is now wise to, cynical of and jaded by these dodgy practices. How about getting back to good service, honest value and simple convenience? That doesn't sound like a lot to ask for does it?
It's not so much the fact that Tesco (and other stores are equally culpable) are trying to screw a few extra pence out of their clients that irks me. It's the assumption that normal shoppers are somehow too stupid to see through the marketing ploys. When you charge a fair price for a fair product, I'll meet you halfway. Try and pick my pockets and I'm out of here.
Now Which Magazine has highlighted that Tesco has been sending its online grocery shoppers products that are smaller than advertised - The Mail highlights a 1 litre tub of Carte d'Or ice cream that was actually 900 ml when it arrived - to add weight to the argument that the stores no longer have the customers' best interests at heart.
And that is precisely the problem, not just at Tesco but with many high street brands. This arrogant assumption that the customer is some dimwitted cash receptacle to be milked for or tricked out of every penny and then discarded in endemic in much of British retail.
Cutting the numbers of store staff to save money (remember Tesco's promise to 'always open another till if there's someone in front of you until all the tills are open?' That got quietly sidelined), cramming the aisles with two for one offers where the price of one is twice as much as you've ever paid before, promoting special deals that only last a day or two just to get you through the doors - it all stinks of what's wrong with retail in the UK. But more accurately, it highlights what's wrong with the mentality of the new generation of marketers who are blind to the idea of respect for the customer, dazzled by the size of company profits, and purely focussed on their own cut of the bonus pool.
Honestly, it's time to stop now guys. You've been doing it for too long and even the most gullible of customers is now wise to, cynical of and jaded by these dodgy practices. How about getting back to good service, honest value and simple convenience? That doesn't sound like a lot to ask for does it?
Tuesday, 14 February 2012
Jobs for the dead
A newspaper report that the termnally ill are being given advice on how to get back into work has surfaced this week. The government spokesperson said, "we believe the terminally ill should be offered the same employment opportunities as everyone else."
But why stop there…
Dear Mr Cowthorpe
I was sorry to hear of your recent death, but thought you would be interested to learn about the latest employment opportunities available to the lately deceased. As you may know, it is government policy to offer the same work opportunities to the dead as to the living, and a number of exciting openings for the 'life-challenged' have become available this week.
Selfridges
Selfridges have a number of vacancies for the slimmer corpse, especially if you passed away whilst striking a fashionable pose. (Limited) expressions of interest are invited for those under 8 stone who pegged it whilst pouting, leaning forwards with one hand on a hip or indulging in a superman style 'legs apart, fists on hips' position to act as mannequins in our haute couture dept. May suit the longer term deceased given the weight requirements.
Arsenal FC
This well respected football organisation invite CVs from all cadavers regardless of race or sexuality - we are an equal opportunity corpse employer. The role is to join our largely silent and unanimated team of supporters to stand impassively behind the goal with a glazed expression. If that's you, please contact Joyce Fremlin, head of supporter recruitment (Bodies Division).
Note from UK.Gov. A similar position is also available in the back four of Wolverhampton Wanderers first team.
Government Departments - Highways Division.
The UK Highways Ministry have a range of national vacancies for Activity Observation Operatives to join our road maintenance department. Duties include; standing idly in groups whilst a loan digger driver moves earth in a laconic fashion; remaining immovable whilst a 13 mile queue of traffic backs up behind a row of cones on the A21; and standing in a hole staring into the distance whilst waiting for the 'right pipes to turn up'. Please apply to Fred Watts, highways recruitment.
If you or any of your recently deceased acquaintances would be interested in these positions, please contact our office by knocking three times on the table or throwing a glass ornament across the room before 1st March 2012.
Yours sincerely
Eileen Biggs. (Ms)
But why stop there…
Dear Mr Cowthorpe
I was sorry to hear of your recent death, but thought you would be interested to learn about the latest employment opportunities available to the lately deceased. As you may know, it is government policy to offer the same work opportunities to the dead as to the living, and a number of exciting openings for the 'life-challenged' have become available this week.
Selfridges
Selfridges have a number of vacancies for the slimmer corpse, especially if you passed away whilst striking a fashionable pose. (Limited) expressions of interest are invited for those under 8 stone who pegged it whilst pouting, leaning forwards with one hand on a hip or indulging in a superman style 'legs apart, fists on hips' position to act as mannequins in our haute couture dept. May suit the longer term deceased given the weight requirements.
Arsenal FC
This well respected football organisation invite CVs from all cadavers regardless of race or sexuality - we are an equal opportunity corpse employer. The role is to join our largely silent and unanimated team of supporters to stand impassively behind the goal with a glazed expression. If that's you, please contact Joyce Fremlin, head of supporter recruitment (Bodies Division).
Note from UK.Gov. A similar position is also available in the back four of Wolverhampton Wanderers first team.
Government Departments - Highways Division.
The UK Highways Ministry have a range of national vacancies for Activity Observation Operatives to join our road maintenance department. Duties include; standing idly in groups whilst a loan digger driver moves earth in a laconic fashion; remaining immovable whilst a 13 mile queue of traffic backs up behind a row of cones on the A21; and standing in a hole staring into the distance whilst waiting for the 'right pipes to turn up'. Please apply to Fred Watts, highways recruitment.
If you or any of your recently deceased acquaintances would be interested in these positions, please contact our office by knocking three times on the table or throwing a glass ornament across the room before 1st March 2012.
Yours sincerely
Eileen Biggs. (Ms)
Monday, 6 February 2012
view from the fence...
I'm not really a marketeer, or marketer as I believe they prefer to be called nowadays. I'm more of a writer. Which means I observe and comment rather than steer. I find you often get the best view from sitting on the fence.
Like today. I received an email broadcast from two of the people I admire. One is Seth Godin who seems to have captured the zeitgeist of what's happening in this new model of business that the internet and social media have been the catalysts for. And the other is Drayton Bird, an old school marketer and writer who has a lot of pithy wisdom to divulge.
Today's missives were interesting. Seth was talking about how businesses are getting better at targeting their customer. His message was that the customer isn't necessarily the end user. Nike targets athletes and celebrates them because they don't really have a clue who actually buys their gear. Similarly Apple only ever had one customer. It was Steve Jobs because he was the voice, soul and vision of every apple customer. In short, Seth was saying, as he often does, focus on your real customer and build your business around them.
Drayton was talking about the Pareto principle and how businesses demand to get more sales often means they ignore the bottom of the barrel. The long tail I believe it's called in SEO terms. It's easy to keep targeting the top 20% who make up 80% of your income - but when you look at the figures sometimes those loyal customers cost a lot to keep loyal. Whereas the 80% who don't buy so often can be much cheaper to get an order from. In a nutshell he was saying don't let the stats drive your business.
What I thought was interesting, was, that although these views might seem a little contradictory, actually they both point to the same thing. The old model of looking at the numbers and going after the easiest return is no longer viable. For businesses to stay in businesses, they have to work harder. Harder at getting to know their customers better, harder at finding out what motivates people, not just what socio-economic group they're in. And harder at thinking ahead to what all these diverse customers will mean to their product line, their service proposition and their brand.
It also shows you can admire two schools of thought - even if they oppose each other. Time to get on my fence again.
Like today. I received an email broadcast from two of the people I admire. One is Seth Godin who seems to have captured the zeitgeist of what's happening in this new model of business that the internet and social media have been the catalysts for. And the other is Drayton Bird, an old school marketer and writer who has a lot of pithy wisdom to divulge.
Today's missives were interesting. Seth was talking about how businesses are getting better at targeting their customer. His message was that the customer isn't necessarily the end user. Nike targets athletes and celebrates them because they don't really have a clue who actually buys their gear. Similarly Apple only ever had one customer. It was Steve Jobs because he was the voice, soul and vision of every apple customer. In short, Seth was saying, as he often does, focus on your real customer and build your business around them.
Drayton was talking about the Pareto principle and how businesses demand to get more sales often means they ignore the bottom of the barrel. The long tail I believe it's called in SEO terms. It's easy to keep targeting the top 20% who make up 80% of your income - but when you look at the figures sometimes those loyal customers cost a lot to keep loyal. Whereas the 80% who don't buy so often can be much cheaper to get an order from. In a nutshell he was saying don't let the stats drive your business.
What I thought was interesting, was, that although these views might seem a little contradictory, actually they both point to the same thing. The old model of looking at the numbers and going after the easiest return is no longer viable. For businesses to stay in businesses, they have to work harder. Harder at getting to know their customers better, harder at finding out what motivates people, not just what socio-economic group they're in. And harder at thinking ahead to what all these diverse customers will mean to their product line, their service proposition and their brand.
It also shows you can admire two schools of thought - even if they oppose each other. Time to get on my fence again.
Monday, 23 January 2012
8 questions to ask before agreeing your website build
Start-up businesses are at the mercy of web companies. Often, they don't know what they should get for their budget and what's good value. I've seen web design companies offering what should be the basics of a good site build as premium, additional extras. So here's a checklist of what you should get in your £295 microsite budget:
1. Ask how many hours design the price includes.
I recently saw a local website company offering '2 hours design' in their website package. Quite simply, that's not enough for a well designed website that actually takes your requirements into account. Ask how many 'style setters' the design includes. We always provide at least 3 professionally designed page style setters produced by designers with decades of experience in website, magazine and advertising layout. You need that kind of experience to ensure you have a site that is unique to your business - and gives you the opportunity to fine tune and change the design untill you're totally satisfied with the look and feel.
2. Ask if uploads are included in the price.
They should be. There's no extra cost involved in uploading images to a host server. It's usually an automated process that a piece of software takes care of.
3. Ask how much margin the web company is adding into the hosting cost.
Let's be honest. Basic hosting is around £30 a year for a microsite (which is all most Start-ups are looking for). Even if they add on a tenner for admin, the hosting shouldn't come to much more that £70 a year with VAT. If you're being charged extra, ask why.
4. Find out the cost price for your domain name.
Some web companies add an extra charge for registering your site name. Let's be clear. Domain registration costs from about £6 for a .co.uk domain name. Again, ask your web company to break down the cost of site registration between the cost of the domain and their administration fee.
5. Content managed sites (CMS) will cost a little more than basic html sites - but not massively. Check the difference in price.
A lot of web companies charge a fortune for allowing the client to change their own content. Wordpress, Joomla or Drupal templates can add additional cost to your basic web package, but they are based on templates so the developer is saving too. If you want a site you can manage yourself, get quotes from at least 3 different companies.
6. Find out whether basic SEO is included.
Don't pay extra for 'on page optimisation'. Basic SEO should be part of the package as it is with our websites. Making sure the h1, h2, titles, tags and text have the appropriate keywords in the right ratio isn't rocket science. Don't let your web company pretend it is - and don't let them charge you extra for it.
7. Search engine and directory registration SHOULD be free. Check it's included.
...because it doesn't cost the site developer anything more than 20 minutes of their time. OK that might be worth something to you if it saves you doing it yourself, but don't be fooled into thinking they're doing you a big favour. They're not.
8. Check how many pages are included in your microsite package.
If it's less than 5 (as we offer) you're going to struggle to get sufficient content for the reader to understand what you do - and for the search engines to take you seriously. Think about it - Home, Contact, About Us, Terms and Conditions, Site Map - those are just the basics and that's five pages right there. A number of web companies make their costs look low by specifying 3 or 4 pages in the all-in package price. Then they charge you extra for every additional page - your £250 site can end up costing you double. Just make sure your basic 'microsite' package includes everything you need to get your business started online.
It's hard enough for SMEs and Start-ups to survive their first year or two without having to avoid the pitfalls set by web companies who want their money more than their business. There are lots of fair and helpful web developers out there. There are also those that give the industry a bad name. My advice would be to shop around before you place your web design - and as with anything - check the details of what you're getting before you sign the deal.
1. Ask how many hours design the price includes.
I recently saw a local website company offering '2 hours design' in their website package. Quite simply, that's not enough for a well designed website that actually takes your requirements into account. Ask how many 'style setters' the design includes. We always provide at least 3 professionally designed page style setters produced by designers with decades of experience in website, magazine and advertising layout. You need that kind of experience to ensure you have a site that is unique to your business - and gives you the opportunity to fine tune and change the design untill you're totally satisfied with the look and feel.
2. Ask if uploads are included in the price.
They should be. There's no extra cost involved in uploading images to a host server. It's usually an automated process that a piece of software takes care of.
3. Ask how much margin the web company is adding into the hosting cost.
Let's be honest. Basic hosting is around £30 a year for a microsite (which is all most Start-ups are looking for). Even if they add on a tenner for admin, the hosting shouldn't come to much more that £70 a year with VAT. If you're being charged extra, ask why.
4. Find out the cost price for your domain name.
Some web companies add an extra charge for registering your site name. Let's be clear. Domain registration costs from about £6 for a .co.uk domain name. Again, ask your web company to break down the cost of site registration between the cost of the domain and their administration fee.
5. Content managed sites (CMS) will cost a little more than basic html sites - but not massively. Check the difference in price.
A lot of web companies charge a fortune for allowing the client to change their own content. Wordpress, Joomla or Drupal templates can add additional cost to your basic web package, but they are based on templates so the developer is saving too. If you want a site you can manage yourself, get quotes from at least 3 different companies.
6. Find out whether basic SEO is included.
Don't pay extra for 'on page optimisation'. Basic SEO should be part of the package as it is with our websites. Making sure the h1, h2, titles, tags and text have the appropriate keywords in the right ratio isn't rocket science. Don't let your web company pretend it is - and don't let them charge you extra for it.
7. Search engine and directory registration SHOULD be free. Check it's included.
...because it doesn't cost the site developer anything more than 20 minutes of their time. OK that might be worth something to you if it saves you doing it yourself, but don't be fooled into thinking they're doing you a big favour. They're not.
8. Check how many pages are included in your microsite package.
If it's less than 5 (as we offer) you're going to struggle to get sufficient content for the reader to understand what you do - and for the search engines to take you seriously. Think about it - Home, Contact, About Us, Terms and Conditions, Site Map - those are just the basics and that's five pages right there. A number of web companies make their costs look low by specifying 3 or 4 pages in the all-in package price. Then they charge you extra for every additional page - your £250 site can end up costing you double. Just make sure your basic 'microsite' package includes everything you need to get your business started online.
It's hard enough for SMEs and Start-ups to survive their first year or two without having to avoid the pitfalls set by web companies who want their money more than their business. There are lots of fair and helpful web developers out there. There are also those that give the industry a bad name. My advice would be to shop around before you place your web design - and as with anything - check the details of what you're getting before you sign the deal.
Thursday, 22 December 2011
The Duchess and I
I was delighted to see that according to this morning's Sun, the Duchess of Cambridge and I have something in common. We both have five changes of outfit to contend with during the Christmas Day - although I suspect for different reasons....
6.00-9.00 I will be teaming my baggy boxers with a pair of stylish black ankle socks in pure nylon. I am likely to complete the ensemble with a shapeless grey towelling dressing gown, the ideal outfit for a morning fag and cup of tea.
9.00-11.30 A change of pace for the grand present opening as I divest myself of my leisure look and switch to more formal attire in a pair of ancient leggings from the house of adidas, complimented by a fetching fleece jogging top. The button-down style will be lightened with a pair of Homer Simpson novelty slippers.
11.30-5.30 The sartorial highlight of the day as I prepare to wow the household in my daring collection of baggy-arsed denim jeans and shapeless tee-shirt - possibly with a humorous connection. In the past, this silhouette has been most successful complimented by an apron bearing the legend 'screw the cooking, let's get pissed' - and my philosophy is, once you've found a fashion style that works for you stick with it. This classic shape will carry me through the main activities of the day; going to the pub, overcooking the sprouts, drunkenly laughing at the queen and generally entering the spirit of the day.
5.30-8.00 As eventide descends, it will be time for another fast change of outfit. Evening games will be undertaken in a collection of sparkling new knitwear from Her Majesty's Marks & Spencer and possibly Matalan - offset with a sprightly paper hat worn at a jaunty angle.
8.00-12.00 The day will climax in a cornucopia of revelry as the esteemed family and friends get stuck into the Bailey's and Stella. This will require a final slick change of attire as I swap the knitwear for 'that shirt you've been saving from the holidays'. This will be the impulse purchase from the summer, a brilliantly colourful affair complemented by images of parrots and palm trees. As night time turn into the early hours, the look will be completed by sodden socks from the quick 'conga' round the garden and festoons of silly string.
Ahh, how like the homelife of our own dear future queen...
6.00-9.00 I will be teaming my baggy boxers with a pair of stylish black ankle socks in pure nylon. I am likely to complete the ensemble with a shapeless grey towelling dressing gown, the ideal outfit for a morning fag and cup of tea.
9.00-11.30 A change of pace for the grand present opening as I divest myself of my leisure look and switch to more formal attire in a pair of ancient leggings from the house of adidas, complimented by a fetching fleece jogging top. The button-down style will be lightened with a pair of Homer Simpson novelty slippers.
11.30-5.30 The sartorial highlight of the day as I prepare to wow the household in my daring collection of baggy-arsed denim jeans and shapeless tee-shirt - possibly with a humorous connection. In the past, this silhouette has been most successful complimented by an apron bearing the legend 'screw the cooking, let's get pissed' - and my philosophy is, once you've found a fashion style that works for you stick with it. This classic shape will carry me through the main activities of the day; going to the pub, overcooking the sprouts, drunkenly laughing at the queen and generally entering the spirit of the day.
5.30-8.00 As eventide descends, it will be time for another fast change of outfit. Evening games will be undertaken in a collection of sparkling new knitwear from Her Majesty's Marks & Spencer and possibly Matalan - offset with a sprightly paper hat worn at a jaunty angle.
8.00-12.00 The day will climax in a cornucopia of revelry as the esteemed family and friends get stuck into the Bailey's and Stella. This will require a final slick change of attire as I swap the knitwear for 'that shirt you've been saving from the holidays'. This will be the impulse purchase from the summer, a brilliantly colourful affair complemented by images of parrots and palm trees. As night time turn into the early hours, the look will be completed by sodden socks from the quick 'conga' round the garden and festoons of silly string.
Ahh, how like the homelife of our own dear future queen...
Tuesday, 20 December 2011
Why free design isn't worth the money...
Back in the day, I worked for printers who offered my services for free and then built the cost of my salary into the cost of the print.
Initially, a lot of customers were delighted - they thought they were getting something for nothing. Obviously, they weren't - they were just paying more for their printing than they needed to.
But worse than the sneaky hidden charges, was the quality of the design they were getting.
I just needed to produce something that, according to the owner of the company, 'looked professional'.
I didn't really care about producing a job that would get the client more business. My work was worth nothing, so I just designed something that 'did the job' - it got the client's message across - but it didn't make anyone want to use them.
The clients didn't really know much about design, so my unscrupulous printer boss just got me to reproduce the same basic design job over and over again - giving it a few tweaks and a new logo to 'ring the changes'. It was a fast way of working, so he could keep the cost of my time down - and bill some extra hours to the client - which he would make a big deal out of pretending he was 'absorbing' the cost of!
And because the design was a popular one, he could sell it to every client as 'professional and effective' - because, the last 20 customers had liked it, why shouldn't the next 20.
Sadly, the poor clients paid for their overpriced print and templates design time after time, thinking they were getting a bespoke service and achieving only a fraction of the results they should have. Because they thought they were getting a good deal, they just didn't realise what a bad one it was.
And that's why 12 years ago, I set up Davis Davis Design and Advertising. We don't offer free design because we want the businesses we work with to succeed, not just be fleeced. Instead we offer cost price print to our clients so they get the best possible design for their business and the lowest print cost. In the end the price works out the same - but the difference in results is what keeps our customers coming back.
Printers still offer 'free' design and still provide the same second rate service. But if you want to find out how much you can really save on your next print job, just drop us a line or give us a call on 01304 213008. In 2012, don't you owe it to your business to find out how well you could be doing?
Initially, a lot of customers were delighted - they thought they were getting something for nothing. Obviously, they weren't - they were just paying more for their printing than they needed to.
But worse than the sneaky hidden charges, was the quality of the design they were getting.
I just needed to produce something that, according to the owner of the company, 'looked professional'.
I didn't really care about producing a job that would get the client more business. My work was worth nothing, so I just designed something that 'did the job' - it got the client's message across - but it didn't make anyone want to use them.
The clients didn't really know much about design, so my unscrupulous printer boss just got me to reproduce the same basic design job over and over again - giving it a few tweaks and a new logo to 'ring the changes'. It was a fast way of working, so he could keep the cost of my time down - and bill some extra hours to the client - which he would make a big deal out of pretending he was 'absorbing' the cost of!
And because the design was a popular one, he could sell it to every client as 'professional and effective' - because, the last 20 customers had liked it, why shouldn't the next 20.
Sadly, the poor clients paid for their overpriced print and templates design time after time, thinking they were getting a bespoke service and achieving only a fraction of the results they should have. Because they thought they were getting a good deal, they just didn't realise what a bad one it was.
And that's why 12 years ago, I set up Davis Davis Design and Advertising. We don't offer free design because we want the businesses we work with to succeed, not just be fleeced. Instead we offer cost price print to our clients so they get the best possible design for their business and the lowest print cost. In the end the price works out the same - but the difference in results is what keeps our customers coming back.
Printers still offer 'free' design and still provide the same second rate service. But if you want to find out how much you can really save on your next print job, just drop us a line or give us a call on 01304 213008. In 2012, don't you owe it to your business to find out how well you could be doing?
Thursday, 3 November 2011
Why every client can create their own solutions…
"I'm not creative", is probably the most common phrase you'll hear in the design industry.
A lot of clients say it.
So, they don't get up on a Saturday morning with ideas on how to entertain the kids that day - the kids that they didn't create. They don't cook meals that require care and timing. They don't turn up the radio in the car, put their foot down a little more and imagine they're starring in a movie or ad. They don't doodle while they're on the phone. They don't get dressed - or even choose a new tie. They don't book holidays or look forward to Christmas morning or imagine playing at Wembley. They don't decorate their homes, plant roses by the gate or buy gifts for birthdays. Of course, they do.
No one has yet been born that has no creativity in their soul. And a good designer will work with their client's innate creativity -no matter how latent - to reveal answers they can both love.
A lot of clients say it.
So, they don't get up on a Saturday morning with ideas on how to entertain the kids that day - the kids that they didn't create. They don't cook meals that require care and timing. They don't turn up the radio in the car, put their foot down a little more and imagine they're starring in a movie or ad. They don't doodle while they're on the phone. They don't get dressed - or even choose a new tie. They don't book holidays or look forward to Christmas morning or imagine playing at Wembley. They don't decorate their homes, plant roses by the gate or buy gifts for birthdays. Of course, they do.
No one has yet been born that has no creativity in their soul. And a good designer will work with their client's innate creativity -no matter how latent - to reveal answers they can both love.
Wednesday, 2 November 2011
Jane Moore Page Highlights
Blah blah....family is backbone.....blah blah...hardworking mums....blah blah....the bloke....blah blah.......kids need tough love..... blah blah...common sense....blah blah....housework juggling....blah blah...single parents.....blah blah....lived in a cupboard....blah blah...botox....blah blah....real world....blah blah....benefits scroungers....blah blah....ad nauseum
Wednesday, 15 June 2011
Dosh Stone Kidnap
Headline: £9 Million Joss Stone in Kidnap Shocker
The real shock is how the Deep South Devon dipstick amassed nine million quid. Friends in high places? (pun intended).
The real shock is how the Deep South Devon dipstick amassed nine million quid. Friends in high places? (pun intended).
Friday, 10 June 2011
Does no one else change their mind?
I find today's imperative to blog, post, comment, cast and have an opinion about absolutely everything wearying at least and stressful at worst. It seems that not an event can go by in the news or a view expressed in the media without their being a requirement to add something intelligent and forthright to the debate.
I have a problem with this (as no doubt regular readers of this blog have discovered).
Firstly, I'm aware that I have little original intelligence with which to add anything of value to the debate.
But more pertinently, I tend to change my mind a lot.
Today, I might think Ryan Giggs is an odious little man for cheating on his missus. Tomorrow I might reconsider - you can't really blame him because she does look like she could start a fight in a one man tent.
Today, I might think Rowan William has a point because no one voted for the coalition. Therefore they don't have a mandate to impose loads of draconian legislation. Tomorrow, I might think he's a weirdy god-botherer in a gold lame dress whose never done a proper day's work in his life and doesn't really have any right to pontificate on what the rest of us hard working tax payers should expect from our government.
Today, I might think man bags are a good thing.
Tomorrow, I might not.
And there's the nub. I'm inconsistent. If I blog an opinion today might have changed it completely by tomorrow. I'm transitory, open-minded, non-partisan, lily livered, flexible, uncommitted and vague.
But what concerns me more is the thought that everyone else on the internet is so sure of their opinions that no matter what new evidence comes to light they will never change their stand point. I'd love to have that kind of confidence. But surely the ability to adapt to our conditions is what sets us apart from the animals - and politicians. Or maybe I'm wrong.
So, who'd like to join me in creating a Society for the Undecided? A vehicle for those who not only pull their punches but aren't really sure about the 'whole punchy/throwy thing anyway' to meet and celebrate our indifference. A place where we can have tepid debates - well not even debates really - more sort of friendly discussions - about the major issues of the day and how hesitant we are about them. Good idea?...Yes?...No?...I'll put you down as a maybe, then.
I have a problem with this (as no doubt regular readers of this blog have discovered).
Firstly, I'm aware that I have little original intelligence with which to add anything of value to the debate.
But more pertinently, I tend to change my mind a lot.
Today, I might think Ryan Giggs is an odious little man for cheating on his missus. Tomorrow I might reconsider - you can't really blame him because she does look like she could start a fight in a one man tent.
Today, I might think Rowan William has a point because no one voted for the coalition. Therefore they don't have a mandate to impose loads of draconian legislation. Tomorrow, I might think he's a weirdy god-botherer in a gold lame dress whose never done a proper day's work in his life and doesn't really have any right to pontificate on what the rest of us hard working tax payers should expect from our government.
Today, I might think man bags are a good thing.
Tomorrow, I might not.
And there's the nub. I'm inconsistent. If I blog an opinion today might have changed it completely by tomorrow. I'm transitory, open-minded, non-partisan, lily livered, flexible, uncommitted and vague.
But what concerns me more is the thought that everyone else on the internet is so sure of their opinions that no matter what new evidence comes to light they will never change their stand point. I'd love to have that kind of confidence. But surely the ability to adapt to our conditions is what sets us apart from the animals - and politicians. Or maybe I'm wrong.
So, who'd like to join me in creating a Society for the Undecided? A vehicle for those who not only pull their punches but aren't really sure about the 'whole punchy/throwy thing anyway' to meet and celebrate our indifference. A place where we can have tepid debates - well not even debates really - more sort of friendly discussions - about the major issues of the day and how hesitant we are about them. Good idea?...Yes?...No?...I'll put you down as a maybe, then.
Thursday, 12 May 2011
Pippa Middleton and David Beckham. Breaking a few more super injunctions
Apologies to all my eight followers on the recent lack of blogs - pressure of work and all that you know.
Anyway, following the revelations regarding Jemima Khan and Jeremy Clarkson, I though now would be an apposite time to publish some of my own super injunction busting scoops...
First, there's the ongoing triste between fame obsessed space cadet Peaches Geldoff and wheelie based boffin Professor Stephen Hawking. They've managed to keep it a secret for months put were last week photographed kissing behind the bins at Currys. Then there's hirsute Welsh football drone Robbie Savage and his on/off affair with chinny American actress spinster Jennifer Anniston. They met on the set of her last rom-com disaster where Robbie was auditioning for the part of '2nd pampered Afghan Hound' and, allegedly, haven't been able to keep their hands off each other since.
Next we have the secret relationship between green fingered talk show dross-smith Alan Titchmarsh and scrawny pop has-been Madonna who likes him to pop around at least once a week to 'prune her bigonias'. Then there's a rash of lesser known torrid clinches that have evaded the British press: Erudite twitterer Stephen Fry and OWIE airhead Amy Childes, Brummy misery Adrian Chiles and Bumptious pop starlet Beyonce Knowles, 70's Spurs goal machine Cyril Knowles and Porcine temptress Peppa Pig...I could go on. But I'm bored with making up unlikely couplings now. Still if you've got some you'd like to add, please comment. It's all good for the search engines.
Anyway, following the revelations regarding Jemima Khan and Jeremy Clarkson, I though now would be an apposite time to publish some of my own super injunction busting scoops...
First, there's the ongoing triste between fame obsessed space cadet Peaches Geldoff and wheelie based boffin Professor Stephen Hawking. They've managed to keep it a secret for months put were last week photographed kissing behind the bins at Currys. Then there's hirsute Welsh football drone Robbie Savage and his on/off affair with chinny American actress spinster Jennifer Anniston. They met on the set of her last rom-com disaster where Robbie was auditioning for the part of '2nd pampered Afghan Hound' and, allegedly, haven't been able to keep their hands off each other since.
Next we have the secret relationship between green fingered talk show dross-smith Alan Titchmarsh and scrawny pop has-been Madonna who likes him to pop around at least once a week to 'prune her bigonias'. Then there's a rash of lesser known torrid clinches that have evaded the British press: Erudite twitterer Stephen Fry and OWIE airhead Amy Childes, Brummy misery Adrian Chiles and Bumptious pop starlet Beyonce Knowles, 70's Spurs goal machine Cyril Knowles and Porcine temptress Peppa Pig...I could go on. But I'm bored with making up unlikely couplings now. Still if you've got some you'd like to add, please comment. It's all good for the search engines.
Friday, 15 April 2011
The Surbiton Surveyors' Centre Parcs Super Dry Epidemic
Elveden Centre Parcs. April 2011...
The infection started in the sports hall and soon spread to the restaurants and bars. Initially we just noticed the odd isolated case but before long it was obvious whole families had succumbed. The disease seemed to be more prevalent in the young but it quickly became apparent that no one was safe. Slightly trendy chartered accountants, 'still with it' fleet managers, 'down with the kids' dads and middle-class miwlf mums were all showing the signs.
The Super Dry epidemic was unstoppable.
Everywhere we turned, children, teenagers and old enough to know better parents could be seen displaying the symptoms. In the children it wasn't so tragic. The oversized, over worn check shirts were almost cute, the strange garage signage and references to Tokyo had a playfulness that made the underlying sickness bearable, But in the adults, the infection was hideous to behold. The washed out grey pigmentation, frayed seams and pink stripes all pointed to the unmistakable truth that their brains had been infected by virulent 'branding' and a collective 'lack of imagination. The fact that this was costing them an arm and a leg was secondary to the underlying sadness that whatever celebrities wore three years ago, the middle classes will wear today. And that's the real sadness. An abundance of money coupled with a lack of ideas will always mark them as followers - the cannon fodder of the manipulative marketing department.
However, as with the FCUK pandemic of a decade ago this will also soon pass. In fact the signs of a new and more powerful logo madness are already taking hold. People are already showing the initial symptoms of the ubiquitous Hollister strain. Give it a couple of years...
The infection started in the sports hall and soon spread to the restaurants and bars. Initially we just noticed the odd isolated case but before long it was obvious whole families had succumbed. The disease seemed to be more prevalent in the young but it quickly became apparent that no one was safe. Slightly trendy chartered accountants, 'still with it' fleet managers, 'down with the kids' dads and middle-class miwlf mums were all showing the signs.
The Super Dry epidemic was unstoppable.
Everywhere we turned, children, teenagers and old enough to know better parents could be seen displaying the symptoms. In the children it wasn't so tragic. The oversized, over worn check shirts were almost cute, the strange garage signage and references to Tokyo had a playfulness that made the underlying sickness bearable, But in the adults, the infection was hideous to behold. The washed out grey pigmentation, frayed seams and pink stripes all pointed to the unmistakable truth that their brains had been infected by virulent 'branding' and a collective 'lack of imagination. The fact that this was costing them an arm and a leg was secondary to the underlying sadness that whatever celebrities wore three years ago, the middle classes will wear today. And that's the real sadness. An abundance of money coupled with a lack of ideas will always mark them as followers - the cannon fodder of the manipulative marketing department.
However, as with the FCUK pandemic of a decade ago this will also soon pass. In fact the signs of a new and more powerful logo madness are already taking hold. People are already showing the initial symptoms of the ubiquitous Hollister strain. Give it a couple of years...
Friday, 8 April 2011
Hugh Grant: Actor, Charmer, Town Planner...
Thanks to Hugh Grant for pointing out the obvious in this week's Dover Express. Hugh described The Gateway on the seafront as, "that monstrous council block casting its shadow over the town and blocking the sea view". He went on to add, "most towns have bypasses, Dover has built a road to have lorries thundering through the middle. It must be the worst piece of town planning I have ever seen... you can drive right through Dover without knowing there is actually quite a nice beach the other side."
The disconnect between Dover and its sea front has always been a major drawback to any development or investment plans, and the fact that The Gateway further separates the town from its greatest asset is testament to a series of appalling planning decisions made by successive Dover Town Councils. Not just over decades - but through the centuries.
Why could the dual carriage way not have been sent underground to allow residents unfettered access to their beach? Why was it considered a brilliant idea in the 50's to build a block of 'luxury' flats that looked out of date the moment they were completed? This was just abject greed by the Council, looking to grab development money by flogging-off something that didn't belong to them - namely the stunning views of the channel. No doubt the people who made these decisions are all forgotten in their graves by now - but their legacy of stupidity lingers on.
So, I'm with Hugh. Let's bulldoze The Gateway... and while we've got the earth movers out, let's knock down Burlington House at the same time.
The disconnect between Dover and its sea front has always been a major drawback to any development or investment plans, and the fact that The Gateway further separates the town from its greatest asset is testament to a series of appalling planning decisions made by successive Dover Town Councils. Not just over decades - but through the centuries.
Why could the dual carriage way not have been sent underground to allow residents unfettered access to their beach? Why was it considered a brilliant idea in the 50's to build a block of 'luxury' flats that looked out of date the moment they were completed? This was just abject greed by the Council, looking to grab development money by flogging-off something that didn't belong to them - namely the stunning views of the channel. No doubt the people who made these decisions are all forgotten in their graves by now - but their legacy of stupidity lingers on.
So, I'm with Hugh. Let's bulldoze The Gateway... and while we've got the earth movers out, let's knock down Burlington House at the same time.
This Week: Dog Walking Live
This Week: Lambing Live
"...Join Kate Humble as she follows the Marston family in their picturesque Cumbrian farm during the lambing season..." BBC2 9.00
Next Week: Ant Watch
"...Join Bill Oddie as he follows Nigel Igglestone in his mess of a bedroom with his jam jar full of ants..." BBC2 9.00
Week After: Pigeon Watch
"...Join Big Dave as he chases pigeons up and down the alleyway outside of the Crown and Sceptre after a night on the Stella..." BBC2 9.00
Week After: Cats Live
"...Join Mrs Minton as she watches the antics of a ginger tabby and a one eyed black Persian as they fight over the remains of a KFC next to the bins..." BBC2 9.00
Ad Infinitum: Cheap Telly
"...Join our TV execs as they trawl the UK looking for cheap ways to exploit natural animal events to fill the prime time schedules rather than making programmes themselves..." BBC2 9.00
"...Join Kate Humble as she follows the Marston family in their picturesque Cumbrian farm during the lambing season..." BBC2 9.00
Next Week: Ant Watch
"...Join Bill Oddie as he follows Nigel Igglestone in his mess of a bedroom with his jam jar full of ants..." BBC2 9.00
Week After: Pigeon Watch
"...Join Big Dave as he chases pigeons up and down the alleyway outside of the Crown and Sceptre after a night on the Stella..." BBC2 9.00
Week After: Cats Live
"...Join Mrs Minton as she watches the antics of a ginger tabby and a one eyed black Persian as they fight over the remains of a KFC next to the bins..." BBC2 9.00
Ad Infinitum: Cheap Telly
"...Join our TV execs as they trawl the UK looking for cheap ways to exploit natural animal events to fill the prime time schedules rather than making programmes themselves..." BBC2 9.00
Tuesday, 5 April 2011
Don't blog when you're angry...
...about the nursery gestapo charging you £130 for your kids' fees when they're on holiday even when you told them weeks ago that you were going on holiday and could they please just change the days. And no, they couldn't do that. That would be too bloody helpful and wouldn't make them enough money which is all they're bloody interested in - much more so than the education, happiness or welfare of my children...
...about greedy universities charging everyone the maximum fees or there abouts even the most rubbish ones who shouldn't be allowed to charge anyone for anything - yes, you South Bank University, who think it justifiable to charge kids (or more accurately parents) £8,500 per year for a crappy second rate education when Oxbridge are charging £9,000. The fact that the government lied to us blatantly saying that the average would be £7,500 - except nobody's charging that - they're all charging the full whack because THEY BLOODY WELL CAN AND THE GOVERNMENT CAN'T DO A BLOODY THING ABOUT IT!
...about fatuous middle class MPs claiming that other fatuous middle class students shouldn't get the same leg up they got because now they're all right on and down with the poor, aren't they Nick Clegg????!!!
...about the fact that said middle class MPs know sod all about poor families where the kids aren't put off by £9,000 of uni fees because £9,000 isn't even a sum that registers in their consciousness. £9,000 is fantasy money when you live with a family that's trying to save up £6 for a packet of fags, pay the debt collector 30 quid this month, putting off the rent for another week, avoiding the bloke in the corner shop because they still owe him £1.50 for the lollies the little-uns wanted last week and need a tenner to top up the mobile and the electricity key. So don't worry about the £9K Nick. You and Dave put the kibosh on social mobility the moment you killed off the Educational Mobility Allowance. Relax. Poor kids ain't going anywhere.
...about greedy universities charging everyone the maximum fees or there abouts even the most rubbish ones who shouldn't be allowed to charge anyone for anything - yes, you South Bank University, who think it justifiable to charge kids (or more accurately parents) £8,500 per year for a crappy second rate education when Oxbridge are charging £9,000. The fact that the government lied to us blatantly saying that the average would be £7,500 - except nobody's charging that - they're all charging the full whack because THEY BLOODY WELL CAN AND THE GOVERNMENT CAN'T DO A BLOODY THING ABOUT IT!
...about fatuous middle class MPs claiming that other fatuous middle class students shouldn't get the same leg up they got because now they're all right on and down with the poor, aren't they Nick Clegg????!!!
...about the fact that said middle class MPs know sod all about poor families where the kids aren't put off by £9,000 of uni fees because £9,000 isn't even a sum that registers in their consciousness. £9,000 is fantasy money when you live with a family that's trying to save up £6 for a packet of fags, pay the debt collector 30 quid this month, putting off the rent for another week, avoiding the bloke in the corner shop because they still owe him £1.50 for the lollies the little-uns wanted last week and need a tenner to top up the mobile and the electricity key. So don't worry about the £9K Nick. You and Dave put the kibosh on social mobility the moment you killed off the Educational Mobility Allowance. Relax. Poor kids ain't going anywhere.
Don't blog when you're angry because it ruins you punctuation.
Friday, 1 April 2011
If the housing cap fits...
According to the Standard, "A £400 housing benefit cap also comes into effect today, sparking fears that thousands in Central London could be forced to move to the suburbs.
But Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith said "some people could claim more than £100,000 a year to live in large houses in expensive areas. It's unacceptable."
Before adding; "Only MPs should be able to claim benefits to live in large houses in expensive areas."
But Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith said "some people could claim more than £100,000 a year to live in large houses in expensive areas. It's unacceptable."
Before adding; "Only MPs should be able to claim benefits to live in large houses in expensive areas."
Tuesday, 29 March 2011
...And the Dumb-Ass quote of the day goes to...ABTA
Responding to the point that holiday companies are profiteering from parents by hiking prices in the school holidays, a spokesperson for ABTA said, "Travel companies want to incentivise people to travel out of peak times, so discount prices."
The context of the story is that more parents are running the risk of fines and damaging their kids' education by taking holidays during term when prices are 25% lower. 13% of us did it last year. So, to summarise, according to ABTA, the holiday companies aren't inflating the prices in the school holidays - those are the normal prices. It's the rest of the year that's being discounted. Therefore, the only people who can benefit from the 'incentives' offered by the holiday company are people that don't have kids of school age.
ABTA's correct reply to Christine Blower of the National Union of Teachers comment that,"it's unreasonable for travel firms to cash in by hiking costs in the school holidays" is 'Yes, it is but we're going to do it anyway, hahahahahahahahahaha!"
In any other industry, offering incentives to people to break the law is a criminal offences known as 'bribery'.
The context of the story is that more parents are running the risk of fines and damaging their kids' education by taking holidays during term when prices are 25% lower. 13% of us did it last year. So, to summarise, according to ABTA, the holiday companies aren't inflating the prices in the school holidays - those are the normal prices. It's the rest of the year that's being discounted. Therefore, the only people who can benefit from the 'incentives' offered by the holiday company are people that don't have kids of school age.
ABTA's correct reply to Christine Blower of the National Union of Teachers comment that,"it's unreasonable for travel firms to cash in by hiking costs in the school holidays" is 'Yes, it is but we're going to do it anyway, hahahahahahahahahaha!"
In any other industry, offering incentives to people to break the law is a criminal offences known as 'bribery'.
Friday, 25 March 2011
24 in a nutshell
Chloe will pull her 'I want pudding' face and furrow her brow.
A nuclear bomb will go off in a desert
An international terrorist will speak in a ham Arab accent about "ze newchleear matearalz"
Jack will 'be forced' to torture somebody.
The torture will involve some shouting and looking menacing before the hardened killer gives in under his threatening gaze.
Someone at CTU will open a socket.
Someone else will discover something important in a fragment of data.
KIm will get herself kidnapped.
There will be a shoot out in a multistorey car park
Jack will have a heart seizure.
All cell phones will always receive a signal at the crucial moment.
All computers will work perfectly.
Jack will get shot.
Some peripheral character will lose their memory.
The president will be either a wise saint or an evil monster.
Someone will contract a killer disease and have a limited time to find the antidote.
Jack will be stabbed.
Tony Almeida will turn up.
Someone will mention Teri and everyone will go quiet.
The president will distrust Jack. And then be eternally grateful to him.
No one will go for a wee. Obviously.
And an hour will be formed of 43 minutes.
Please feel free to add your own...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)